Love at Home
Realle and Izac
The Vision
This Valentine’s Day, I wanted to explore love as ritual. The quiet intimacy of being seen inside your own home. Capturing my partner and me in our Bed-Stuy apartment exactly as we are.
I initially imagined collaborating with a photographer. Instead, we leaned into the process together using a tripod, a self-timer, and our Sony a6400 to bring this vision to life.
I chose to shoot at home because that is where love starts for me.
Letting Go of Perfection
Izac will be the first to tell you: as soon as we started, I began to get anxious. I was worried the camera wasn't capturing us the way I had imagined in my head, the cinematic angles I believed only another photographer would be able to capture. He told me, "just have fun," and that’s when everything shifted. I had to let go of the pressure for things to be perfect and just focus on creating.
I think I need to invite more of my childlike self into my creative process. I can be so critical at first, and I believe it holds me back from so much. When I was a kid, I would create for the pure joy and presence of the moment.
Lately, people have been asking what we're doing for Valentine’s Day. For us, it’s not a holiday we really celebrate; I can’t even remember what we did last year. That’s because Izac shows me affection and care every day. He buys me flowers and gives me gifts randomly. He shows me respect, shows up, and supports me daily, so there is no pressure to perform on this one specific day (though knowing him, he’ll probably still buy me flowers).
I recently saw a TikTok where a woman said that if your man doesn't get you anything on Valentine's, you should leave him. I thought, Really? I think what is more important is how you are treated during the other 364 days of the year.
Every relationship is different, though, and I was curious to see how others felt, so I turned to Reddit. Here were some opinions:
"I like the excuse to have fun and give gifts!"
"We’ve been together 20 years and have never celebrated it."
"We don’t do gifts, but as parents, any reason to celebrate us being together is a treat."
"It feels forced and cheesy... worst day ever to go out to eat."
What I found is that the most important thing is communication. Every couple is unique, so figuring out what works for you and your partner without comparing yourselves to the world outside is where the real peace is.
Playing Mancala: board handcrafted in Mali, West Africa. Hair by @_omhhredroom
What is Love?
I love bell hooks’ definition of love in All About Love: New Visions. She defines love not as a fleeting emotion, but as a verb “the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.” Love, according to hooks, requires an ethical commitment and a combination of care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, trust, and open communication.
Love isn't always the grand, public declaration; more often, it’s the quiet moments at home. It is how you treat each other inside those four walls when no one else is watching.
This was our first project together where we were both the subjects and the creative directors. I’m really proud of what we created together.
What does love look like in your home?
Let me know in the comments below.
